Instead of telling the other person constructively how we feel, we try and d ominate the other person in an attempt to overcome our sense of powerlessness and we try to reassure ourselves that our self-esteem is still intact. Seeing the other person as someone who suffers just as you do is a crucial start in any conflict resolution process.Дisagreements, disrespectful treatment, betrayal and hurtful behaviour can make us feel sad, wounded, rejected and even bereft, especially if the relationship with the person you are in conflict with was intimate. In doing so, you may even catch a glimpse of the other personвЂ™s core pain and realise that that is why they are responding angrily too. This blog post is about helping you to understand your anger before it leads to destructive conflict. It could have even been physically dangerous to do so. You may have been raised knowing that expressing vulnerability would be mocked, ignored or it would anger your parents.

Your parents may have had the attitude that talking about how you feel wonвЂ™t help the situation.

Some of us were born into families who do not talk about their emotions or see it as weakness. It is usually a cover for more difficult emotions that we find even harder to express or we may not be aware of. Studies suggest that anger is rarely the вЂњprimaryвЂќ emotion that you feel. A large part of my grief was anger until I accepted my vulnerability and allowed it to breathe. I often feel angry when I feel vulnerable or anxious and I had no idea why that was until I started to take notice of my tendency to snap at people when I was worried about catching a flight or a train. We feel angry when we feel ignored, mistreated, disrespected or hurt and those are only a few of the emotions that can enrage us. YouвЂ™ve probablyД«een there a hundred times. Likely to fight with somebody when you feel angry with them.

It should not come as a shock to learn that you are most

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